8 Ways to Embrace Your Unique Spiritual Gifts (instead of trying to be someone else)
Have you ever struggled with inadequacy in the church, like wishing you had different gifts and talents than what God gave you? Let’s learn to embrace the unique spiritual gifts God has given us & use them with joy!
“Don’t compare yourself to others – comparison is the thief of joy, and you have your own unique gifts from God.” As you grew in the Lord, maybe you received a statement like this from another Christian. Afterward, did you feel encouraged, generally speaking, but unsure where that encouragement was meant to lead you – you, specifically?
Like many Biblical concepts, spiritual gifts can feel purely idealistic or vague if we only consider them in passing or toss around the phrase as religious jargon. How do we grow beyond words to real, lived-in truth?
God is multifaceted – layered and beautiful, in ways still often mysterious to us. We, as image-bearers of God, are collectively diverse, reflecting on a smaller scale the glorious variety of good found in our Father.
8 Ways to Discover & Embrace YOUR Unique Gifts
Here, we will seek to explore steps in the personal discovery and use of our spiritual gifts. It is my hope, for you and for myself, to grow into the Christ-reflection God intends for each of us, which will benefit not only our own souls’ development, but also Christ’s church as a whole, diverse body of believers. So, where do we begin?
1) Learn about spiritual gifts listed in the Bible
If you have never considered what gifts you have, a good place to start is learning what sorts of gifts God gives His children. Here are some Bible verses that list types of gifts:
1 Corinthians 12:4-11
o Gifts Listed: Wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, performing of miracles, prophecy,
distinguishing between spirits, different tongues, interpretation of tongues
Romans 12:6-8
o Gifts Listed: Prophecy, service, teaching, exhorting, giving, leading, showing mercy
Ephesians 4:11
o Gifts Listed: Apostles, prophets, evangelists, shepherds, teachers (“to equip the
saints for the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ”)
There are discussions about whether or not certain gifts, such as apostleship, performing of miracles, prophecy, and speaking in tongues, are given to Christians today. Some people believe that these gifts will continue until Jesus returns again; others believe that those gifts ceased when Spirit-inspired scriptures were complete and are no longer needed because God’s words have been preserved with all the information needed for salvation. I lean toward the second understanding myself.
Any idea we have or hear from others needs to be measured against scripture. (One verse often considered in this regard is 1 Corinthians 13:8, which discusses how prophecy and speaking in tongues will cease.)
Regardless of such debates, it can be confidently said that today we still benefit so much from people being blessed with spiritual gifts like knowledge and wisdom to help each generation understand the scriptures, and from people gifted with faith, service, teaching, exhorting, etc. Learning what gifts are possible is the first step in realizing what gifts you have received.
2) Identify your gifts
After you have learned the possibilities, it is time to start looking at yourself. Watch for moments when you feel a spark, a sense of “this is what I was made for,” as you live, work, and play at home, your job or school, church, and interacting with friends and loved ones. Look for patterns – in what moments do you feel naturally capable? Genuinely interested? Deeply invested? Where do you notice your efforts benefiting others?
Also, while it’s true that other people won’t have all the answers for you, it can be very helpful to ask trusted people (parents, siblings, friends, teachers, mentors) what they see as your strengths, what they could see you doing well and growing in long-term, what they really appreciate about you in your relationship with them.
If you feel like your gifts are “small”, “secular”, or don’t fit in the exact categories listed in scripture, consider that your gifts might not be listed specifically. They might, instead, fall under the umbrella of one of the listed gifts. So many gifts, abilities, and interests can be subsets of the gift of service if you put them to work that way.
I picture someone naturally gifted and interested in baking using their skills for fellowship or for community outreach and service, or an artistic or crafty brother or sister helping decorate for events, creating inspirational and uplifting art, or making clothing to give to people in need.
Some less conspicuous gifts might be woven into your natural tendencies – maybe you overflow with encouragement or with gentleness and mercy with little effort. These are gifts!
No matter how visible your gifts make you in the body of Christ, you are undoubtedly a member of that body and are vital to its functioning. Don’t take my word for it – Paul, inspired by God’s Spirit, assured us of this in 1 Corinthians 12:12-31. “God has arranged each one of the parts in the body just as He wanted.” That includes you!
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3) Practice submitting your self-image to God
Once you have discovered some of your gifts, this step is one that needs to be woven through the whole process of developing them. We all need to see ourselves the way God sees us – by doing so, we can be truly humble, honoring God for the gifts He has given us instead of taking credit for them and seeing our weaknesses for what they are without tying that truth to our intrinsic value. Having a God-informed self-image will also help you celebrate the gifts of others and be willing to give them opportunities to put their gifts to work.
To do this, build a foundation by meditating on and memorizing Bible verses that establish the identity of God’s children. 1 John 3:1, John 1:12 , and Galatians 4:6-7 are helpful starter verses for this, reassuring you that, as a believer in Jesus, you are a child of God, no longer a slave to sin, but an heir and student of the Lord of all good things.
Studying scriptures that reveal the spiritual effects of your status as a child of God can train you to recognize when your thoughts turn meanly self-critical, jealous, or self-pitying. This will enable you to challenge your unhelpful thoughts and give you the words to speak back to them.
4) Find mentors who have the same/similar gifts as you
No man is an island – our journey to healthy self-image will be parallel to developing healthy connections with other children of God. We need each other, more desperately than we often realize!
In the context of spiritual gifts, your growth can be deepened and accelerated by finding mentors, especially in your home congregation. If you aren’t sure who those people might be, ask your elders, elders’ wives, or trusted Christian friends. Seek to befriend at least one of these people; you can directly tell them you would like to work together, learn from them, and have them as a resource of advice in using your gifts.
If for some reason you can’t find a mentor in your own congregation, you can reach out to other local churches of Christ and find one there. Do service projects together, get coffee or lunch sometimes, and discuss ideas and active ways you could and are putting your gifts to work. With many advisors, plans succeed! (Proverbs 15:22)
5) Put your gifts to work
Once you have identified your gifts and have support from others, consider where your gifts are useful. Think about different environments – are your gifts most suited to larger scale church activities, smaller groups, or individual work?
If your gifts are more on the subtle side, like generosity, mercy, etc., how can you use those in everyday interactions with other people, not only from you towards other people (like showing mercy to someone who was unkind to you), but also to encourage others to show those qualities as well (like helping someone else show mercy in the way they speak about someone who was unkind to them)?
Make a list of ways that you already use your gifts and how you can strengthen them. Ask your mentor(s) for suggestions or to work alongside you in something. Be a good steward of your gifts by starting with small steps and prayerfully taking more advanced steps as God presents them. “Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the grace of God” (1 Peter 4:10).
6) Notice the gifts of those around you
Part of maturing in your gifts is seeing what God has given you in the broader context of God’s kingdom. Your gifts aren’t meant to be lived out in a vacuum – your gifts are a living, breathing, moving piece in the body of Christ, connected to everyone around you.
By learning to consider the gifts of those around you, you can amplify the effectiveness of your gifts and theirs. See who you can partner with to fill gaps where you are weak and they are strong and vice versa. As you learn to use your gifts, you can build or join functioning teams in ministries where each person’s gifts are utilized intentionally.
As an example, you could start or join a team that provides outreach to the community (maybe food or other supplies). People with a variety of gifts will be needed for the outreach to be successful – people with leadership and organizational skills, gentle people to speak with difficult or hesitant individuals, hands-on people with various abilities to do acts of service, etc. God weaves us all together so that we can strengthen each other – “a cord of three strands is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12).
7) Cultivate humility and delight around your gifts
Unfortunately, the devil doesn’t rest. As you walk this path of growing in your gifts, he will attack you in ways specific to you in attempts to derail your development and impact. Pride is a major temptation for many of us as we grow in the Lord – we can be proactive by asking for God’s protection, guidance, and a humble spirit, as well as by giving Him the glory in our own hearts when our efforts are praised.
We need both humility and delight in our gifts. None of us should boast or take sinful pride in our gifts – we did not earn them. God freely, generously, and intentionally gave them. Let us heed Paul’s rebuke to the Corinthians who began to look on others, including Paul, with prideful eyes – “What do you have that you didn’t receive?”(1 Corinthians 4:7)
Instead of taking pride in our gifts, we can delight in using them, reveling in the joy of doing good work and putting shoes on the ever-present internal value given to us by God. Our value isn’t something we have to earn – it is something we have received and therefore can now put to work. In using our spiritual gifts, we can receive deep peace and fulfillment in knowing we are doing what we were made for.
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8) Become a mentor to people who are gifted similarly to you
While you will always benefit from good mentors, you will also hopefully reach a point in your growth when you will be prepared by God to also be a mentor yourself. You don’t have to wait for people to come to you – you can keep an eye out for people younger than you (whether actually younger or just earlier in their spiritual walk) who are gifted similarly to you.
You can befriend them, maybe point out what you notice that they do well. Offer to walk alongside them, to serve with them, and to be a friend and mentor if they are open to it. Tell them things you would have liked to know earlier in your journey. Share tips and warnings as needed. Remind them of their identity in the Lord and of their belonging among His people. Be a link in this beautiful chain of mentorship connecting Christians across millennia.
There are so many spiritual gifts. Finding our place among them and in the family of God can feel overwhelming at times, but God’s word and God’s people are here to walk with you in the steps of spiritual gift growth.
As you take these steps, I want you to know: Your value is unquestionable, your gifts are God-given, and your place is chosen just for you.
May God bless you with wisdom and abundance of His Spirit, and may you use your gifts and shine with His light as a gift yourself.
